Perverted pickup lines

[darknessmonger]

I was talking with Aurelie as what would be the best pickup line a guy can tell her, and it was soemthing along the lines of
'Come with me and I'll make you regret having been born with a cunt'

so what others liek that can you imagine?

[CS Wolfe]

That's one awesome line. I'll have to try it!

(I'll let you guys know which jail I'm writing from after I try it)

On topic: Not easy to compete with an awesome line like that, but I'll give it my best shot.

"Here, smell this." Just before shoving a chloroform soaked rag under her nose.

Bah, that was weak. I'll think of some others!

[maryrobyn]

Join me for a session honey. I'll turn your breasts from your finest assets to your worst liabilities!

[Emma]

I cant remember any pick up lines that were actually good but I remember one of hte first things I said to Alebeard when i met him online.   I said. 'Make me sorry I ever asked you to play with me'   He still continues to make me o so sorry.. =}

[CS Wolfe]

Alebeard when i met him online.

Wow, wish I had that kind of luck online! I'm curious what site you met on? Only kinky dating site I know of is Alt.com which is too expensive for me atm. And I think admitting my kinky side would probably get me banned on OkCupid :P

[darknessmonger]

some other pickup lines

'can I hold your hands baby? just while the drug I injected you maek effect'
'I made a bet with my friends, that you scream louder than your sister'
'Why don't  we go to a quieter place, where no one can hear your screams?'

and a gross one:
'is your toungue as soft as your skin? I've ran out of toilet paper'

[js207]

Alebeard when i met him online.

Wow, wish I had that kind of luck online! I'm curious what site you met on? Only kinky dating site I know of is Alt.com which is too expensive for me atm. And I think admitting my kinky side would probably get me banned on OkCupid :P

OKCupid seems pretty kink-friendly for the most part, including quite a few BDSM-related quizzes and questions as well as outright Domme and slave profiles (though an actual search option for dom/sub/switch would be a nice addition...) - I've even talked to a few compatible-sounding Dommes on there in the past, though usually 5+ timezones away!

[CS Wolfe]

Wow, really?

To be honest I never really paid much attention to the site, I only made it on the insistence of a friend who met her "dream guy" through the site. They're so vanilla it's almost sickening :P

I'll have to look into the more kinky stuff next time I'm on.

And just to keep this on topic, somewhat:

"Honey, I'm not going to shower you with honeyed phrases and cute gifts, I'm going to give it to you straight...Come with me and I'll make sure your pussy and tits never feel anything but pain ever again."

And a perverted twist on a terminator line

"Come with me if you want to suffer!"

 

[Emma]

Alebeard when i met him online.

Wow, wish I had that kind of luck online! I'm curious what site you met on? Only kinky dating site I know of is Alt.com which is too expensive for me atm. And I think admitting my kinky side would probably get me banned on OkCupid :P

I met him on a chat client called MIRC.   It was back in 97 and it was just so randomly accidental.  I never intended to meet any of these perverts I had started chatting with but this was a local chat room called BDSM-SFBaY and he said something like 'Sadistic bastart' and I said 'Sadistic Bastard *PERK* and that was it.  WE chatted for a few weeks and ended up meeting at a local bdsm munch and the rest is history.  I couldnt have asked for a more perfect perverted fit as well as so many other fits that just make life so perfect 13 years later.  ;}

Emma

 

[CS Wolfe]

Think you might have messed up the quote button there, Emma. ;) Enjoyed the story though!

I'm thinking I might just have to wait till I'm older, since no one seems to take a 23 year old sadist seriously up here. I'm thinking of dying my hair gray and walking with a cane :P.

[darknessmonger]

and when a girl asks you about the cane. You tell her that is handy for using on some breasts.

[CS Wolfe]

and when a girl asks you about the cane. You tell her that is handy for using on some breasts.

Indeed I will, thanks for the line!