Defintely Nature, not Nurture

[Sterling7]

I think I have a certain sympathy for homosexuals and the treatment they often receive in America because I know more or less beyond doubt that I've been a sadist since, oh, age 3.  In other words, I was born this way, I didn't have any choice in the matter, and so my personal experience suggests that most people don't have a whole lot of choice, either.  My preferences are just a little easier to conceal in the presumptions of "normal" heterosexuality.

Long before I was completely aware of the differences between boys and girls, I had fantasies about resucing a pretty woman from a band of robbers... Only, the robbers started keeping the woman for longer and longer times.  And doing unpleasant things to her.  While I watched, waiting for the right moment.

I'm curious if others' experiences are similar.

[subnoxious]

Welcome, and I've always been interested on where people think their way/interest/character/etc might come from.. should make for a good read once those typically vocal on their keyboards start to contribute.

Personally, I'm not sure what I am to be able to give an idea of where it might be rooted.

[John_F_Drake]

I don't know if I was raised this way or born that way.

Since I can find elements of each, I'm gunna go with the general Psychiatric community and say its about a 50% mix of each.

[Quixote]

Abuse.

Probably not the kind you are thinking of, but still, my answer is just that word.

[subnoxious]

okay.. so I've thought about this a little more (obsessively) and here's what I've come up with for identification:

-- I am definitely a masochist of varying degree.
-- I am of a dominant nature / character / personality.
-- My submissive qualities are primarily shown via relationships in which I desire to please my partner, and be found pleasing - however that comes about. (yes, it's a little more complicated than this statement, but for simplicity sake, there it is)

Now that I think I've identified what I believe I "am"... I'm off to think about where it might have come from.

I'm tending toward the "nurture".. but let me overthink it and I'll get back to you!

 :)

[mothbrad]

I think it can be either, but there was nothing out of the ordinary in my upbringing that made me also have my first sadistic feelings at a very young age (I think around five, but maybe a little older, maybe  a a little younger).  What I do know, is that they pre-dated my sexual feelings, but were always 'special' and 'secret' in the way that young people's sexuality is to them.

[Social Exile]

I'm with Mothbrad as far as the upbringing goes. There was nothing out of the ordinary concerning how i was raised.

My personality/character is pretty open and accepting and I'm nothing but a nice guy. But when it comes to sex and force fantasy that's the only time i deviate from how I'm perceived.

I'm not controlling or sadistic or even masochistic in anyway, aside from liking rough sex at times and enjoying rape fantasy and role play.

I think it had to do with the content I was able to view when I was discovering things. While some kids are sneaking peeks at old copies of playboy I ended up seeing certain videos and old exploitation/grind house fillms, which probably turned me in the right direction. Discovering RPP Stories and a few other sites later in life just cemented my love of it all.

So probably a little bit Nature and a little bit Exposure, but not much Nurture on my end.

A Social Exile

[Sprayman]

I'm really not sure which is the major factor. Maybe both, maybe neither.
I tend to be dominant in almost all respects of my life to some degree. The sadist part has probably always been there but I did not act on it until well into my 40's, and it was not a major factor in either of my marriages. Perhaps that is why both ended in divorce. It has been a major factor only since my second divorce 15 years ago.

[sindyloo]

   In my opinion(and we know what those are like) I think both have a effect on how we grow up?  First is nature how we are created what chemicals are lacking in our brains that guide our thoughts..normal or not.

  The rest is how we are raised or not raised!?  I mean did we get enough attention or not enough?  That is really what changes us as we grow thru life I think!?

[Arael]

Well, as a masochist, I was CLEARLY born the way I am.

As a submissive, I'm not sure whether that was in my upbringing or if I was born that way.

[Quixote]

I think I'm the cliche.

Feeling pain and feeling powerless made me like making someone else feel pain and feel powerless.

Glib, but probably a factor.

As for Arael, what are the odds of both at once?  Lucky girl.

[sindyloo]

   Awww she is being a Honest Girl and trying both Sides of the Coin!  well done and wish I had the courage to try it!?

[Lia]

Ooh, interesting, psychological thread.

Someone up there said 50/50. I was thinking I'd agree... but then.. no.
Yeah, like Arael, as a masochist I was born this way. I'm not necessarily very submissive by nature (actually I'm not at all, but I still want to be 'dominated.' It annoys me when guys back down because I get bitchy or whatever. It's me testing them!! Anyway...), that's the opposite of how I was raised. Supposed to be a good daughter that always obeys, etc etc, but I hated my psycho stepdad and just... didn't!

So yeah, I guess for me it's mostly just my nature to be.. me. Not to say environment had NOTHING to do with it, but, eh... I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling now. Ew.

[sindyloo]

   Ramble away you were making lots of sense there ya know?   Lot of what we are is derived from our inner selves.  We can be raised by the best or the worst parents!?

   But in the end it is our inner selves(free will)that truly determines how we come out or how we want TO behave!

[Jessica_E_Brown]

I'm defiantly on the Nature side of the argument. Experiences in my life may have helped firm up my desires and bring them into reality though.

I'm had thoughts, sort of waking dreams about being raped since I was very young, under the age of 8. I didn't have any form of abuse growing up so it can't be twisted reflex to that. Although when I was nearly raped on a train in my teens, it defiantly reminded me of my childhood thoughts and made it a stronger fantasy.

I've known I was Bi since I was about 12. I started noticing girls and boys at the same time before I had any actual (Physical) sexual experiences with either, so again I can't think any one made me this way.