RPP TV - Proud to be the network from Hell

[Quixote]

The following was jotted down by me in the middle of the night, in an excessively ridiculous mood.  I've thrown it in here because anyone who wants to is more than welcome to throw in a show or two for the network.  The funniest entry will win nothing whatsoever.

Tonight on RPP TV

In tonight's episode of the new sitcom 'My Wife's A Bitch' Bob is just having one of those days.  His secretary misplaces an important report, getting him in hot water with the boss, and making him spend a whole afternoon whipping her cunt.  If that wasn't bad enough, Bitch Jane back home has burned his dinner, so he burns off her pubic hair.  His son was suspended from school for skipping class to rape and whip his girlfriend in a school bathroom, and Bob takes away his torture privileges for a month, just when Bob could have used a hand punishing his daughter Trish for failing a cocksucking test.

It never rains but it pours.

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Tonight on 'Rapist Confidential' :-

Tim will be discussing home-invasion techniques, particularly the use of family-members as hostages to secure a slut's obedience.  He'll be demonstrating with his footage of the rape of Linda, who turned into quite an eager little cocksucker when her unconscious family's lives were threatened.

Anita, our resident bull dyke, will show you fem to fem rapists out there the best ways to modify an ordinary store-bought strap-on to convert it into an instrument of torture as well as violation.  Also the best irritants and chemicals to mix with the lube to add to the pain.

And young Jim will be continuing his in-depth look at all aspects of High School rape.  Last week was date rape drugs and this week he will be covering blackmail methodology and the use of humiliation through public or net-broadcast degradation.  Next week: gangrape of a bitch as a way of bonding a football team.

But first, this week's viewer's submission.  A tape sent in by Bill from New Jersey of the gangrape of the stripper at his friend James's Bachelor party.  Let's join the poor unsuspecting bitch as she finishes her show, not realising that the party is only just starting ...

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The voting lines close in two hours, and we'll be back on the air at nine to announce this week's loser, but let's recap on each contestant's week.

Shayna, the youngest contestant on this series of 'Suffering', is just eighteen years old and was a student before her boyfriend John entered her in the contest.  This clip is of her getting her tits burned with cigarettes after she was the slowest contestant to drink a 32oz glass of cum.  To vote for Shayna to lose, call XXXXXXX.

Emily was a stockbroker.  Her husband John felt that she needed to learn that her ass was his to fuck.  This week she finally managed to convince John, with her tearful begging, to give her a good, long ass-fuck, so she will no longer suffer a daily session with the electric butt plug.  The anal gangbang she suffered at the hands of all of this season's boyfriends was one of this week's highlights.  To vote for Emily to lose, call XXXXXXX.

Nicole has been the feistiest contestant this season, kicking and screaming and carrying on in the most unladylike fashion.  Her extreme cum-phobia made her submersion in the cum tank after being the last to make her boyfriend cum in the throat-fucking challenge an exciting forfeit.  The threat of the cum-tank seems to have subdued her, and she even managed to hold still for a five man cum shower, although she couldn't stop herself from screaming in horror, so she still needs work.  To vote for Nicole to lose, call XXXXXXX.

Anna, the lesbian, whose girlfriend Toni felt needed to be taken down a peg or two, had a particularly tough week after being the first to quit on Friday's whips and clamps endurance challenge.  She didn't seem to enjoy being the weekend slut at all.  Here we can see Toni laughing as she reclines on the sofa, watching Anna crying with a cock in each hole, midway through her 48 hour gangbang.  To vote for Anna to lose, call XXXXXXX.

Remember, the bitch who is voted out of competition will have the word 'loser' branded on her tits, forehead, and pubic mound before being sold in an online auction.  The money goes to her partner.

The last girl left in competition will be tortured to death, winning her partner the one million dollar jackpot.

Remember, the lines close in just two hours.  Get voting!

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Last week on hit soap opera, 'Bitches', Kyle learned about Terri's illicit communication with Elizabeth during their punishment session in Sarah's dungeon.  Kyle is now faced with a dilemma, which he discusses with his friend Robert, as they start the training of the fresh Bitch, Amanda, kidnapped and brought to the Chateau only that day.  Kyle knows that if he tells Sarah what happened, she will cut out Terri's tongue.  Robert thinks he should tell Sarah, and advises Kyle to do so, when they take a break from their caning and introduce Amanda to double penetration, but Kyle doesn't know what to do.  He doesn't want his favourite cocksucker among the Chateau's Bitches to lose her tongue.

What will he do?  Find out tonight on 'Bitches'!

[mothbrad]

Brilliant.  I have roughly eight seconds to post now, so I can't add anything, but I will shortly.

[mothbrad]

Tonight on Superslutnanny, we explore the controversial question of corporal punishment.  We ask the question on everybody's mind: when training a slut to be a more effective fuck doll and paintoy, is it acceptable to break bones and spill blood, or should masters and mistresses stick to the more kind hearted methods of humiliation and spanking.

We speak to two slaves who have seen both sides of the fence.  Tasty whore Melissa talks about her experiences being trained by a sadist who is identified only as 'The Moth', who would daily subject her to anything from rape with electrified dildos to hour long whippings with barbed wire.  She shows off some of her scars, and, to the shock of the audience, displays the large 'tasty' brand across her tits.

Then we hear from Annabel, who has had a far easier ride, escaping her training with barely a mark on her body.  She goes into detail, however, at the large amount of humiliating and degrading treatment that she received over three years, beginning at being forced to drink the pee of every visitor to her house, and getting increasingly worse from there.

The show concludes with the subject being resolved in the only way possible - a mass oral rape of both women, by every member of the studio audience, who then rate Melissa and Annabel on their performances.  You'll be amazed at the results.

[mothbrad]

RPP's Funniest Home Videos

We've all been there - that gang bang party where the next rapist in line has become a bit too overexcited and tripped over with his erect cock in his hand running towards the unlucky girl in the middle; or the time that you had your slave all bound up, ready to receive the family dog in her ass and the dog just would not stop licking his own balls, despite the nice piece of meat in front of him; or the bukkake barbecue that gets overrun by mosquitoes.

Now you have a chance, through the miracles of everybody having a mobile phone video camera, to have these hilarious moments shown to the world and be in the running for a prize, including but not limited to the week's loan of a slut to use and abuse at your leisure or, if you're particularly lucky, some more professional video equipment to make sure the next time your slave has that 'shit eating grin', you get to capture it for posterity in high definition colour.

Two hours every night, we select the funniest rape, bondage, torture and humiliation bloopers, accidents and just outright strange events that have ever been captured on film, add some stupid sound effects, and give you the lowest common denominator in family entertainment.  Just make sure your granddad has a properly working pacemaker!

[Quixote]

Nice.  :)

And still better than Fox ...

Come to think of it, I need to write a report from RPP TV's news division.

[Sprayman]

MEMORANDUM

TO:     General Manager RPP TV

FROM: Director PETA Chapter Thirteen

SUBJ:  New Show - 'Animals around the World'

4-21-08

Dear Sir or Madam,

It has come to our attention that your new weekly television series, Animals around the World, is exploiting or mistreating animals.

This is unacceptable and must stop immediately. If you persist, PETA will be forced to take action against your company.

For example, the segment in your last show titled 'Dancing with Bears' depicts a nude slut attempting to dance with a young black bear. When that magnificent animal acted defensively and raked her breasts with its claws she was clearly seen to strike the poor beast repeatedly with her hands and feet. Such treatment of a fine animal cannot be condoned! In future, your naked sluts must be manacled in such a way as to protect the animal from their irrational outbursts.

Further, on last week's show, the segment titled 'Wolf Bait' clearly shows another naked slut being raped by a pack of domestic dogs. Dogs are not wolves and the title is therefore deceptive and misleading. Furthermore, the slut in the film was not wearing a rabies tag and cannot be allowed to consort with canines until her vaccination is current.

Shortcomings such as these cannot be allowed to continue and we demand that you allow a representative from our organization to oversee all future filming sessions of this series. If you do not comply, legal action will be taken to prevent future productions.

Sincerely,


I. M. Friendly
Director PETA
Chapter Thirteen

[Emma]

Nice.  :)

And still better than Fox ...

Come to think of it, I need to write a report from RPP TV's news division.

oo oo how about a nice podcast behind a desk like a real news report!

[Quixote]

Spray:  Hehehe.

Emma:  You and Ale should do it as Master/Slave co-anchors.  You'd be reading from a cue card as Ale added weights to your nipple clamps.  Then he'd read his share of the report as your head bobbed in his lap.  It'd be so cute!  :)

[Sprayman]

Thanks Quix. I'm considering an answer from the GM to PETA.

[Sprayman]

MEMORANDUM

TO:     Director PETA Chapter Thirteen

FROM: General Manager RPP TV

SUBJ:  Your memo of 4-21-08

4-22-08

Dear Ms. Friendly,

First, I know that Ms. is the the way you prefer to be addressed as I saw your recent interview on PBS. I heard you ream the host when he referred to you as Miss.

My name is Art Sadist and I am the General Manager of RPP TV. The correct way to address me is Sir. The only other exceptable form of address is Master. We don't have a Madam here. Please keep that in mind for any future correspondence. All of our sluts are freelance and no Madam is needed.

As to your 'demand' to place an oversight representative in our studio during the filming of our new animal series, let me say this. Normally, I do not react favorably to demands. However, in the intrests of remaining civil, I will allow you to have a representative on set, but with the following criteria.

Said representative must be female, over the age of 18 and under the age of 30. Said representative should be reasonably attractive, or at the very least, no dog.

If you meet my requirements, I will instruct my crew to extend every courtesy and show her the 'ropes'. Not to mention chains, manacles, gags, whips and other commonly used equipment. If said representative is more than just presentable, I may even give her a cameo.

As a matter of fact, why don't you drop by the studio yourself. I will personally give you the grand tour. Let me suggest a week from this Thursday, when we are filming an hour long special on donkeys and jackasses. One of the donkeys is blind and will give you the ride of your life. Since he is blind, he will stick his dick in just about anything! Even someone as ugly as you! Please bring your own K-Y jelly, if you wish. We never use the stuff here!

Sincerely,


A. Sadist
Gen. Mgr.

[Quixote]

Gives a new meaning to "We've got a barn, let's put on a show."  :)

[Sprayman]

Today RPP TV is pleased to announce that our daytime schedule will soon include a new version of the ever popular show 'The Dating Game' hosted by our own General Manager, Art Sadist.

Our version will be called 'Doms and subs' and will be slightly different from the original show to accommodate RPP TV's style and format.

In the original show, bachelorettes selected their date from three hidden bachelors. Only occasionally did the men get to choose from three hidden bachelorettes. Fuck that! In 'Doms and subs', it's the men that do the choosing baby, and don't you forget it! Oh sure, once or twice a year, we'll let a Domme choose from three loser wimps, just to show we are open minded.

The show will follow the original format in many ways however as our Doms get to question 3 hidden subs about their physical attributes, sexual prowess, and degree of submissiveness.

In round two, the questions will deal with what types of torture the subs have experienced in the past.

In the third and final round, the Dom will select a specific torture that Bruno, our staff dungeon master, will apply to each sub, so the the Dom can hear the quality and volume of each slut's screams.

Then, in the exciting finale, the Dom will select the sub of his choice and take possession of his prize. He will be expected to consumate the selection by raping the slut on stage as we roll the credits. After the show, the Dom may do whatever he wishes with the two losers, however it is traditional that they be given to the host and camera crew as a show of his appreciation.
(Our GM, Art Sadist says that this is what the old show did too!)

We look forward to bringing you this new version of 'The Dating Game' and hope that you enjoy it!

[Quixote]

Spray:  You know, that one I can almost imagine on Dutch pay-per-view ...

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RPP Talk is back for a new season, better than ever.

The interrogation-themed celebrity talk-show cranks things up a notch this season, with brand new tortures for the interviewees.

Other shows may tell you they bring you the dirt on the celebs, but they don't use electro-shock to the nipples and clit to get to the real truth.

This season, Angelina on why she's such a slut, and demonstrating just how good a blowjob she can give with that pouty mouth.

Paris Hilton begs the world's forgiveness for being so annoying as we give her a brazilian waxing she won't soon forget.

J-Lo is hung by her breasts and get's that famous ass caned until she promises not to make any more movies.

All this and more, on the new season of RPP Talk.

(If there's any particular interviewee and/or interview technique anybody would like to suggest, I'd love to hear it.)

[Emma]

Can any of you make sound waves of your announcements!?   Or a little video to post? 

[Quixote]

Sorry, I'm hideously deformed, and my voice sounds like one the chipmunks, but I'm trying not to let any of these fine bitches find out.  You understand.