Collaring

[Quixote]

Is it better for her to do it herself as a physical sign of that fact that she is giving herself up for slavery, or for you to do it, signifying that you are taking possession of her as a slave?

Came up in a conversation.  I had always thought of it as something the Master or Mistress should do.  But someone else made a compelling argument.  Wondered what the group's thoughts were.

[Sprayman]

Have always thought that it was the Master's (or Mistress) privilege to collar his/her slave. While having the slave do it has some merit, I feel that the Master/Mistress is 'taking' the slave's free will away, which is signified by the application of the collar.

The slave demonstrates their submission by 'allowing' the collar to be placed around their neck, not by doing it.

[Quixote]

That has always been my feeling. 

This person suggested that the slave should strip, kneel, put it on herself, and then hand her Owner the end of the leash attached to it, before dropping from kneeling to all fours.

Which does sound pretty.  Albeit a bit puppy-play for my tastes.

[Sprayman]

Agreed - it does sound pretty - and I don't see anything wrong with it - but not for a 'first' collaring.

Once a collar has been applied, and the slave 'accepts' the collar, things can go in many directions. After all, the collar is only a symbol of submission, just as a ring worn on the ring finger of the left hand, signifies either marriage or the intent to marry, depending on the type of ring worn there.

However, wearing a wedding band on that finger doesn't make someone married, just as wearing a collar doesn't make someone a slave. Both conditions are a state of mind and a way of life, with the wedding band or the collar as a visible symbol of that way of life.

Once a slave 'accepts' my collar and submits to me, she is mine. At that point, the collar is a symbol and can be removed if I desire. She is still my slave until I release her from her slavery.

Just my opinion...

[Quixote]

I agree with you.

Although I do like people who replace the collar with a pendant or choker for everyday/public use, so there is always *something* symbolising the collar.

[Sprayman]

And I agree with that...

It's been some time since I actually had a long term 'slave' relationship, but when I did, she wore a necklace that I made for her as a symbol of her submission. It was a plain gold chain that could be adjusted in length, from choker to about 16 inches without ever removing it. She also had several pendants that could be attached, again without removing the chain from her neck.

[Quixote]

Sounds charming.  I've never had a long-term slave relationship.  But I aim to.  :-)

[Sprayman]

My primary advantage is... I've had LOTS longer to have those kinds of relationships. LOL

[Quixote]

I've yet to hit my peak.  :-)

[Dr Verloc]

I would order the slave to bend her neck to be collared. The fact that she complys with this order is all the rpoof that is required of her consent. But I lock the collar on her neck.

Dr Verloc

[Dr_BuzzCzar]

Been on extended biz travel so am late to the party so to speak.

Way back when I was a pup (60's) and just learning my way around the BDSM world (well actually we just called it S&M then). It was common in my circles for a sub/slave to offer herself and her collar to a Dom. He accepted the collar and put it on her neck as a sign of accepting her as his slave. Over time that seems to have evolved into more of the case of a dom offering a collar as a way of asking a sub to be his slave. That has always seemed wrong to me but I've done it so color me hypocritical. With the advent of the internet the elaborate collaring ceremonies, etc have become common. For me I'd never seen one until sometime in the 90's. It was new to me and interesting to some extent.

[Quixote]

I have my own ceremony.  Did it once, but what it meant was ... complicated.

Strange.  I never mind sharing anything with the group, but somehow my collaring ceremony seems too personal.

(I'm so absent-minded, I've probably already posted it on here and forgotten.  Heh.)

[Sterling7]

I think I like the idea of "slave takes off everything else, master puts on collar." Give everything you can; what's left is to be taken.

[Quixote]

Good point.

[Violet]

Agree with everyone else - think the collaring should be done by the Mistress/Master.  The other way does sound pretty, but for me, I would have to be the one putting the collar on the slave. 

And I like your idea as well Spray - that the slave would always wear something, so that when they're out in the vanilla world, they never forget who s/he belongs to.  It might be corny, but I like the idea of the slave wearing a gold necklace with a lock as a pendant.